How To Milk A Cherry

My wife is an expert in these matters and can calculate and compare the price of produce using calculus, all in her head and instantly.

One of my favorite clips from a movie is when Greg Focker discusses how to milk a kitty. Well, now I am going to tell you how to milk a cherry. Actually, a bag of cherries. A bag that cost me $14!!

How is it possible. Ok, maybe you think this is a bag that you need a horse and carriage for. But you don’t. You do not even need an adult to carry this bag, a toddler could manage it without putting down his bottle. No wonder George Washington cut down the Cherry Tree, I feel just as angry as he must have felt that fateful day.

What have I learned? Either I was an idiot for not buying cherry futures, or I have been asleep at the wheel when it comes to the price of groceries. All my life I have been identified (at least to myself anyway) as a successful land developer and that means you have lots of money. Even when you don’t. So I never troubled myself with food prices, not one bit. You could have told me milk cost 50 cents a gallon or $50 a gallon and I wouldn’t have known the difference.

My wife is an expert in these matters and can calculate and compare the price of produce using calculus, all in her head and instantly. I am having a lot of trouble letting go of my old identity.

It goes beyond enjoying money (which I really do) and points to my complete and absolute non-participation in this significant part of life. It is time for me to wake up and smell the roses, to let go of my old identity and embrace the new. To realize that I LOVE my life and that I feel more fulfilled knowing that cherries cost a lot of money. I am beginning to notice the weather, and that there is a moon and flowers. And, oh yeah, that little bird they are always talking about actually does exist!

But the cherries are still pissing me off. In an effort to appreciate them more and to get more for my buck I take them everywhere. And I think about them all the time. I have cherished them almost to the point of rotting. Them, not me.

And they teach me, those cherries are teaching me! Teaching me to appreciate, to become more aware, to pay attention to everything. After all, that is what makes life rich. Right?