Too many times I stubbornly remain angry instead of letting go and telling someone I am sorry. Suffer to be right.
Magic happens when people say they are sorry. Defensiveness and aggression stop, we become more open and vulnerable, and we reconnect with one another. Quite often the other person will admit they are sorry too, then the love flows and everyone feels better. The bodies tension dissipates, the mind calms down, the spirit is light. The entire being immediately shifts from being tense and filled with stress to feeling peace and love. That is essential for our health.
What keeps us from saying we are sorry? Usually, we cannot tolerate the other person “winning” something. Even when we do not know what they might win, but they might win something. Our cognition leaves the room, and emotional reactions take over.
Or we are confident the other person is wrong. Wrong about what? Making a mistake, being clumsy in asking for something, holding a different point of view, or doing some other unlikable thing? So what?
When we say we are sorry, we do not need to agree with the other person or even condone their behavior. We can simply be sorry some situations cause pain, disharmony, and disconnection, and turn these situations into finding more compassion and love.
It takes a lot of discipline and practice to curb our emotional reactions and act lovingly, but it is worth it. It is one of those things that becomes easier with use.