Struggles Of A Sincere Man

I just turned sixty five, and sure you probably do not care too much, but I do because even better than turning sixteen and getting a driver license I received my Medicare card. That was one happy day. But I digress.

I have ten posts and even more books halfway completed, but I do not like any of them enough to finish. They either repeat what has already been stated by others, feel preachy or condescending, or possess the wisdom of an innocent child. This is frustrating and causes me to struggle. Or maybe I have been goofing off and all of this is an excuse.

Despite the doubts and my stalling I truly have been reflecting and growing, and thinking about the craziness of life, I can promise you that. What with all the goings on in the world, not a very hard thing to do. But I am not here to make political statements or to make fun of the appalling lack of unity and possibly leadership in the world. No, I am here to remind myself, and you, that we do not know the answers to any of this. But humans like to know answers, we need answers, otherwise there is some disconnect and we cannot tolerate that. We answer big questions like whether or not there is a God and what that god might be, what happens after we die, what constitutes good and evil, and how others should live. But we really do not know any of this, do we? It is important to humble ourselves to this fact so that we can be compassionate, empathetic, open to new information, slow to persecute, quick to forgive, and most importantly survive as a species.

We give lip service to the notion that every human deserves food, shelter, and water but we have not come close to accomplishing this basic start in genuine humaneness. Contrary to most peoples beliefs, we are capable of solving this problem. These basic human needs could have been supplied multiple times over with monies spent during the last twenty years on war. And, without getting too morbid, I think about the fact that we have historically had people of great power and resource use the maximum available tools for the repression and killing of other humans. We should not forget that entire species die off on this planet, and that humans are not immune. Nor should we deny that technology has brought tools to humanity that give a small number of people the capability to wipe out the entire species. These things are hard to consider, even harder to believe, but we must be aware of them as possibilities and remain hopeful for a very rapid spurt of growth in human evolution.

So who are we, will we survive as a species? Who am I, and will I figure out what I have to offer or actually offer something of value? And does it matter? For now, I hold the belief that my highest purpose is to become a more compassionate human being. To believe there is something beyond my understanding, beyond human understanding that we refer to as God and that this god is a powerful and beneficent force. This is a dated view. There is so much baggage created by religious enterprise around the notion of god and what god might be. I love God despite having no idea what God might be, and believe that if we eliminate all definitions and beliefs about god and simply accept or hope there is something bigger than ourselves, we become open to (or create) the very thing that will help us to evolve.